Wednesday, February 18, 2009

You think I posted LIBEL information about the Denny's Nurse-In? Really?

Crystal has contacted me and threatened me with Libel. Nothing I have posted about the situation with Denny's is libel, and I will continue to talk about MY POINT OF VIEW AND MY OPINION.

Some of this I already stated but, I feel like I should reiterate it. And yes, I have read the first-right stand being taken. This is a bit of a rambling rant.

I will not be going to this nurse-in, there are too many questions as far as the reason for it and where/when/how, etc. My biggest reason is that nurse-ins are for education and not punishment.

Denny's here in Asheville is NOT corporately owned so an apology from corporate is not going to happen. Each franchise will handle things their own way.

A national nurse-in is not going to achieve much when there is no real organization or firm reason behind it. An apology is what she wants, and she will "call it off". Is that what we are after? An apology for one person?

If you are going to do this, you need to do it RIGHT. You schedule a sit down with Denny's, you explain the law, you discuss what went wrong, and what BOTH sides could do in the future. You try to come to a positive conclusion before taking it to the media and making a fuss.

You get national breastfeeding groups on board first, before the press.

Has anyone been informed of the laws as far as picketing? Has anyone secured a permit? Do we know that these things are happening?

No, no one knows anything, that is the issue.

More information is needed as to what steps were taken first, and what is going on.

Even Crystal is confused, she doesn't/didn't even know if corporate or local management issued a statement.

Nurse-Ins are radical forms of protest, and when used properly are great! But this doesn't seem to be happening the right way or for the right reasons.

Education should be the reason, not just an apology.

I have been discriminated against for nursing in the past, I know how she feels, and what is going through her head, but you have to expect equal and proportional reactions to how you act towards a group of people.

There are a group of moms who are going to try to host a day of "awareness and promotion of breastfeeding" in March at Growing Young Café that I will attend. They are in the early planning, but it is stemming from the discomfort from the Denny's publicity. I'll help them out and put together a Press Release for them as they figure it out.

My main concern with how it came about is Crystal's tendency to bare breast nurse. I'm saying that there are places where it is more appropriate to "bare breast" nurse than others.

It isn't that others are necessarily offended either. It is embarrassing for some people to see a bare breast. It isn't that nursing, or a quick flash, or even belly or partial breast is showing, but an entire breast.

My father is someone who nursed until he was well into toddler-hood, (my grandmother still boasts about that), but has such a strong respect for women, that he is embarrassed at the beach, when boob flashes on a movie screen, or when I wear something revealing. He doesn't mind me nursing, but if I am too "lenient" with my exposure, he will ask me to cover up because he gets embarrassed.

Had he been in the restaurant, and see her bare breast nursing, he would have been so mortified that he would have literally gotten sick. He gets nervous, begins to get the hiccups, his hiatial (spelled wrong) hernia acts up, and he will then throw up his meal. I have seen it happen, and it isn't a choice. He would have asked management to do something, then would have addressed her himself IF he was still able to speak, but so long as she was exposed, he would be too embarrassed/upset/sick to approach her or even to finish his meal.

I think of the public in general the same way I do my father. I have enough respect for him, and for anyone else, to be fairly modest. That doesn't mean use a tent, or a blanket, or even to bunch your shirt right on the baby's face, but try to cover most of the breast that is not in use. Don't FORCE someone else to be uncomfortable. Crystal herself says things about making YOU go away and things, these comments are disrespectful and rude, if she wants respect from people, those comments and attitudes aren't going to do it for her.

Crystal made comments that she was "looking for it" that day. Right or wrong, mis-spoken or not, this is an issue. Many people saw that quote on MDC, it was deleted, but I did find where someone referenced it in the thread and told her she needed to delete that b/c it made her look bad. I can copy and paste it into a JPG if you want to see it.

I am ALL FOR BFING in public, no matter how old the child, where you are, or who is there, however, we need to be mindful of others. RESPECT must be earned.

The point of this nurse in is NOT about education. It is b/c she wants an apology.


ETA: Denny's official stance:
“We at Denny’s work very hard to insure all guests have a pleasant dining experience. Breastfeeding is absolutely allowed in our restaurants; we do request that it be done with respect and discretion, as we are a family restaurant. We defer to our managers to carry out the company’s position.”

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