Mostly Naked Serenading ??

Yup... Arden bestowed a wonderful gift of pants-less serenading on me this afternoon while we are out hiking...

How did this happen you may ask? Well, it starts with the fact that mom forgot to take the portable potty with us, that Arden won't poop in public, and we were out on a hike... I took off his pants to let him go, he decided not to, and then he refused to put his pants back on.

After a few minutes, Arden perched himself on a rock and began singing to me... loudly with a lot of dancing! It was adorable! I did snag a few photos (for embarrassment later in life) and a video~ but I won't be posting them here, lol.

Here are a few photos I took during our hike, I am editing a few more from the Nature Center now.

Enjoy!

More about the Denny's Nurse-In "thing"

This has stirred up a huge can of worms here in Asheville and across the country, and I have to say, a lot of breastfeeding moms are not getting on the bandwagon for the nurse-in, and I am happy about that. Some of this might repeat what I have said before on the subject, but I feel it needs said again.

I'm having a hard time with this nurse-in. From day one, I have spent hours reading all the articles, rude hurtful comments, and the posts by Crystal herself. She was "within her rights", but the thing is, there is a time and a place for everything.

Nursing should be allowed to happen at anytime and in anyplace, but we as advocates for nursing, need to be considerate enough of the others around us to make them a *little* more comfortable with the situation.

Just because something is acceptable in some cultures, does not mean it is acceptable here. And just because we have the right to do something, doesn't mean we should. (I don't walk around screaming at my kids and hitting them b/c the law protects me as a disciplining parent...)

Here are my main issues with this particular nurse in:

1.) Denny's (both local management and corporate) have not been given a fair chance to make things right and to educate the staff or make amends for the situation. You need to give them a chance to make things right BEFORE you start on a media rampage. Someone who truly is looking for change would not have made an immediate call to the media.

2.) People who are involved or want to be involved are not being informed of what is going on, and are actually being misinformed in some places. It is hard to support something when there is no information being given to supporters.

3.) There are comments that were deleted from MDC (mothering.com) that were inflammatory by Crystal, implying this is what she wanted to happen. I truly feel that she is twisting things and not being completely forth coming about her intentions or the entire situation.

4.) There seems to be no organization, and if you really want to make an impact, organization is key. There are a LOT of little things that need sifted through before this happens/should happen. No one wants to see nursing moms separated from their babies and sent to jail.

5.) A nurse-in is NOT about punishment or "putting it in their faces". It is about education and information. And in order to inform or educate, we need to be mindful and respectful of those we are trying to educate. We really should not "all be ourselves. Do what we are comfortable with" by letting it all hang out and not using discretion, because the majority of the people we want to educate are going to be so uncomfortable we are not going to achieve what the goal is.

6.) I'm not sure what we expect Denny's to have done. They were losing business b/c of her actions, they had complaints from more than one customer... what should they have done, what could they have done? They were between a rock and a hard place and were trying to find middle ground. This is why we need to give them a chance to try to find a solution before jumping the gun.

LM

The Nurse-In at Denny's, my prospective...

Here is the short version of what I understand to have happened after reading and hearing MULTIPLE accounts:

A mom was "forced" to leave a local Asheville Denny's this week b/c of nursing in public. Observers say she was completely exposed, and at points was exposed and not nursing. She was politely asked to be more discreet b/c there were other patrons leaving and uncomfortable. She threw a FIT and would not stop screaming, and was asked to leave b/c of the screaming, not because of the breastfeeding... the police came. Denny's supposedly chose not to press charges on her for the disruption she caused.

I nursed my middle DS when he was 18-20months old, at that particular Denny's, with my parents, while very pregnant and never got a second glance... and we all know how hard it is to be discreet while you are that big and with a toddler...

I don't think that women should have to cover up, or even be forced to nurse a certain way while in public. A little flashing is inevitable. I have been places where I have had to pull my top down rather than up and have been more exposed than I liked... I'm rather large breasted, and that makes not exposing myself harder... but I manage to nurse and not expose the world to my droopy breasts ;) They just get the luxury of seeing my mama-belly rolls.

Having said that, we need to think about how we look to others who are not used to moms nursing in public, and how we can encourage others to feel comfortable around it, and to feel comfortable enough to do it themselves.

I too have been embarrassed by the lack of humility some women have while nursing (the mom in question is actually one of them). It is not necessary to expose your entire breast to a restaurant full of people while nursing, by being more discreet, you receive more favorable responses and teach young women and others that it is ok and easy to do. I also don't see the point in walking through a store with your breast hanging out of your shirt completely exposed withOUT a child attached to it. I have seen this mom in local stores with her entire breast out. There are times that a child is not even attached to it. She herself says that she "bare breast" feeds in an attempt to "make others see it is normal". But by doing this, she is defeating her own goal.

I almost feel like this is all a reason to start a fight and that a scene was caused just to make a scene. Sensationalism is not they way to educate. My opinion is that this mom is wanting the attention and drama, and does each time she exposes herself the way she does.

I support a nurse-in for the fact that people need to be educated on the subject. Things didn't go smoothly on either side. However, I feel that we need to be mindful of those around us while we do this. By exposing ourselves unabashedly to prove a point, we are making it about us, and not the baby eating.

Again, please remember it is NOT about our right to breastfeed, but about the baby's right to eat. There is a difference.

People keep talking about other cultures where it is acceptable... we aren't in other cultures, and while I wish we could all walk around topless, we just can't here in the US. If we expect people/our culture/etc to be respectful of us, we need to at the very LEAST be respectful of them as well. Not to mention, most of Europe does not support complete exposure either...

The way to teach others is NOT through embarrassment or disrespect.

I personally am getting a feeling that she is searching for the sensationalism. There have been some reports from bystanders that her "account" isn't exactly factual. Right or wrong, did you know that Denny's chose not to press charges on her for the disruption?

I have been to nurse-ins, I support moms breastfeeding anywhere. I nurse in church, and I never use a cover. I feel that she was disrespectful. She was just asked to be more discreet, and wasn't respectful enough of others to do so.

While NC law is currently in our favor, incidents like this, and IMO this particular nurse-in, can change that, and the law can be repealed or changed to make it harder.

We need to think of the overall goal, respectfully encouraging breastfeeding in our culture.

(Please remember I am pro-breastfeeding and do it anywhere and everywhere my little ones needs or wants it, for as long as they want it.)

Buzz is BACK!

Buzz, the turkey vulture at the Nature Center, is back! They caught him recently after a while of being free. He is ok, and fairly healthy after losing 35% of his body weight.

We met some friends at the Nature Center and had a great time... Arden and Canyon acted like goof balls, while Rory was almost impossible to get a photo of...




The warm weather melted the ice covering the turtle ponds and we got to see a few of them as they warmed themselves in the sun...


The wolves made an appearance and showed off for the boys...



So did the bobcats...


They took turns on the tractor...



And got to see something amazing... one of the rattle snakes shed its skin while we watched!

No Fish Tacos...

We have been busy people this past week!

On Saturday we decided to go back out to the Lake for a much needed hike/fishing/boating trip, and I have to say it was a BLAST!

Carl and Vince took the older boys out on the boat, and attempted to catch dinner... but between making the boys PBJ, stopping to go to the potty, and entertaining them for 2 hours, no fish were caught. Not even a bite. They did however see a few schools of tilapia, which is promising for the future.




While they were on the boat, the Can-Man and I went for a nice hike, probably a little over a mile or so, and then came back to watch the boys from shore and knit.

After they got back to land, our friend R and her boys L & M showed up to play, and we had a blast! They played at the play ground and fed the ducks and geese. (No biting incidents this time).





Flat Stanley even made an appearance! I heard he is going kayaking today... ;o)


After a GREAT day like that, we decided that after church yesterday that we were going to go to Bent Creek for some fishing and hiking. The creek was low, but the weather was perfect! We only caught one fish, not enough for supper, but a nice sized little guy (brown trout); he is waiting in our freezer for some friends to join him...

The boys and I had fun walking and playing while Carl fished here and there... I think we need to go back this week and catch enough for the fish tacos I have been craving, but for some reason, not catching enough fish to make.

Went for a hike...

And enjoyed the beautiful day today! It was great! I can't believe how beautiful it has gotten after being so bitter cold!

We went down to the River Park today...

Rory got to wear his new scarf...


Canyon was along for the ride...

And I think we have decided that it is time for Arden to get a trim... he is just too pretty...


Now, if I can just bring myself to have it done... He is so cute...

Playing in the snow... and sitting in the car...

We got a belated Christmas gift from some family members today and love it all! Here is Canyon in the absolute cutest outfit EVER!




We also went to Lake Louise Park today to go sled riding while we still had a little snow...

It was bitter cold and as we got everyone in their snow clothes, Arden decided that he didn't want to go sled riding... and the longer I stood out in the cold air trying to get everyone ready, the more obvious it became that even Canyon and I shouldn't be out in the bitter wind...

So, Carl and Rory went sled riding, and Arden, Can-man and I sat in the van and watched:



I think we might be coming to an end on the cold and snow though... they are forecasting 50s and 60s for the entire week starting Saturday...

Snow!

No, I don't think I will have photos... but we got SNOW!!

Every Tuesday we go out to eat a local place where kids eat free, making the whole meal in the $10-15 range which is a great deal! Often, we hook up with other local families and have a blast there and occasionally walk to the ice cream shop who has vegan ice cream for Rory.

Well, last night, our friend had to cancel, and it was snowing pretty good when we left the house to head to the restaurant. We had a great meal and decided that we would treat the boy's to some almond milk ice cream since they had been sick, acted so well at dinner, and deserved a treat.

By the time we got back in the car to head home, there was over an inch of snow on the car, and it was sticking to the road. Apparently they don't salt the roads here? We saw 3 accidents in about 1 mile and Carl even had to help push a woman who was stuck (well really, she was from Texas and just needed the moral support to give her car enough gas to get up a hill).

I knew that our main road before our house was going to be a block of ice, and was not surprised to see 3 cars pulled over wrecked about 50 yards onto the hill.

As I crested the hill (mind you we haven't had an issue) I stopped and started again to make sure the van didn't have too much momentum heading down the hill. As I am pumping the breaks coasting down the hill, a truck coming up the hill swerves and fish tails (very obvious 2 wheel drive truck). He stops in our lane... but I can't stop b/c of the ice and I start fish tailing and pumping the breaks isn't stopping us. So I head for the side of the road (not quite a ditch but just fresh snow and dirt) for traction and to fit around this truck... Well the truck decided that he was going to try to drive up the hill from a complete stop and begins to swerve again, but this time is rolling backwards b/c there is no traction.

We did get around the truck no worse for the wear, but man, it was a long drive home. I never knew 2 miles could take so long... I'm amazed at how uncomfortable people here are with driving in the snow.

I went to bed late last night 3am or so (A-man had a fever and was not sleeping) and I went to brush my teeth... no water. The pipes were frozen.

So this morning, Carl has been outside defrosting the pipe and sled riding with Rory. Arden, Canman and I are jealously listening to them have fun... but hey... we don't mind, we are warm, and watching Sesame Street ;)

Also, while I am waiting on my knitting needles for CanMan's hat, I started a scarf for Rory.

Knitting Can-man a hat...

Hope to be done in a day or so :) It is green.

ETA: I'm going to have to wait for my knitting needles to come, my circulars are too long.

Super Bowl, PBJs, and Fishing...

That is our day!

We went to a local lake to go fishing, (drove less than 20 minutes, have to love it!) We didn't catch any fish while we were there, but we had a great time!

A-man decided not to listen and started feeding the Canadian Geese bread... at first they really liked him and were nice... then he got bit on the hands a few times and changed his mind! LOL!

Rory and Arden had some great PBJ, with homemade jelly from Mama Ann. While we were eating, we sat and watched the Rowing team and some sail boats!




There was a great park, and we had a great walk.

I'm just so happy that there are places like this local to us, and easy to get to. I love that we have a family that loves to do these things :O)

Now off to watch the Supper Bowl and hope the Steelers take it!

Feeling Relieved, Happy, and Relaxed...

It has been about 4.5 months since I was able to feel this way. What is amazing is that until this week, I didn't even realize that I had been so stressed out.

It is amazing what the wrong relationship with someone can do to you. I befriended someone last year, and quickly, maybe too quickly, let her into my life. We were great friends, hung out often, and her little idiosyncrasies didn't really bother me much.

We even became so close that she asked me to attend her birth.

Well, towards the end of her pregnancy I began to realize that we were not really a good match. The relationship had become completely one-sided and she wasn't the person that she was "pretending" or "portraying" herself to be. I didn't want to hurt her or bring it up while she was in and out of labor at 34-36 weeks, and after her birth she was so fragile that I couldn't talk to her about it.

I would talk to her and share things, and when I would mention the conversation, she would act like she had no idea what I was talking about. There was even one day, probably one of the hardest I have ever had, when she called... I started to tell her what was going on and why I was in tears, and when I did, she interrupted me and told me I had to listen to how mean her Mother-In-Law was b/c she didn't want to lend her money... She kept going on and on, and after 5 minutes I told her that I just couldn't do this right now, that I didn't have it in me at the moment to be supportive of anyone, that I needed to try to hold myself together, and in turn, she got huffy and got off the phone without even finding out what was so wrong in my life that I couldn't be there for her problem.

I was always there for her, always. We ate dinners together, during the gas crisis I traveled over 100 miles round trip with gas for her, I helped her with her hair, I listened to her talk about her husband, his family, her other friends, the random people online who were after her... and the list goes on.

For the last four months, she started to try to become more like me, she called me 4-6 times a day, sometime more, she commented me online ALL THE TIME, and began to do the same to my friends... I don't mind that she was making friends, but she began to complain about my friends behind their backs, and to be more and more negative.

Over the last 3 months, I began not having the ringer on when I had my phone with me, just knowing that someone (probably her) was calling made me anxious.

Over the last 2 weeks I have been on-edge so much that I have had nothing nice to say to my family or anyone, not even my children, and after a late night Y!M conversation with this person I realized why. It was her , it was our relationship. She had NEVER heard a thing I said, and was becoming more and more unstable, and unreasonable... I actually wonder if she doesn't need help from someone.

Well, how do you break up with someone who has become a good friend? How do you deal with it?

I was feeling so much stress, and she was taking so much of my energy, that I had nothing left to give to those who needed it the most, (my family and myself!)... So I did it, I deleted her from my life. I know it sounds harsh... and it is, but I have no ill will towards her, I just couldn't be in a relationship with someone who couldn't even remember what my goals and dreams in life were, where I wasn't happy, and with a person who made my life become four times more stressful than it needed to be.

In our last conversation, she was completely unstable. She accused me of only being her friend so that I could find a way to attend her birth, and to use her. She accused me of never supporting her, (when I told her that I didn't know how to help with cases of incest and that she needed a psychiatrist) and of not caring about her dreams (which I did help her with understanding the legal side of Midwifery in NC an the different opinions on legislation and regulation). She claimed she had no idea our dreams were similar and I hid mine from her. She was upset that I commented to other people's blogs more than hers, and that I didn't write on her page as much as she did mine... The conversation went from bad to worse, and it became painfully obvious by the end, that I couldn't reason with her and that she wanted more than I had to give.

I sent her an email to officially end the relationship... I know that it seems harsh, but I didn't know what to do, and I wanted to leave it on a positive note, and not negative, which is what I feared from a phone or IRL conversation...

"I am sorry that you feel so unsupported by me. That was never my intention. Obviously you have a lot going on in your life right now, and I feel that perhaps it will be better for you to focus your energy on that rather than on me. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors and I am sure I will see you around. I am sorry that our friendship is not what we hoped it would be."

The minute I pressed send on the email, I felt a rush of relief... I can actually breath! While I am sorry for the loss of a friend, and I do really wish her the best, I realized that I am happy for the first time in months and that I was not being the person who I really am. The stress over that relationship had made me into someone that I didn't want to be. I was being mean to my husband, kids, and ignoring other people in my life because I had no energy left.

I guess I am writing this note to process it out-loud and to remind us to be careful who we surround ourselves with, because those people will effect all aspects of our lives, not just part of things. This person is no longer on my friend's lists, is on ignore on chat groups, and I can't see anything she posts. I am not writing it to make her feel bad or for any other reason like that. I wrote it to process my feelings and to apologize to those of you who I have neglected as a friend and loved one... I am sorry. I am back to myself, I haven't lost my temper in days, and can't wait to talk to you all.

I love you all.

LM

It is my turn...

to be sick. I haven't thrown up this much since I was pregnant.

Yesterday at the Nature Center...

We went to the Nature Center Yesterday, it was a BEAUTIFUL day and we had a great time!

We did have a bit of sad news though, Jenna, the old gray wolf passed away. She was the oldest living wolf in captivity. This is a photo of her from 2 weeks ago:


Here are a few shots that I took yesterday:

This is Trooper the BaBa Black Sheep. He took a liking to Rory and didn't want Rory to stop petting him!






Here are a few Rory took with Carl's Camera: I think I might have a budding photographer on my hands! (Grammy there are 2 snakes.)






Here are a few Arden took with the kid camera:
A black snake

A corn snake:

Trying to catch Olive swimming, not bad, he got the feet... She was moving fast!

The Sickies are still here... and 25 random things about me...

Ok, so I thought we were all on the mend, but NO. Last night I found out otherwise. Arden and Canyon puked, a bunch... niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. It made for a long night!

Since I don't feel like taking photos today (I *might* get around to editing the nature center photos from yesterday)... I figured that I would post 25 random things about me that I posted on facebook as a chain letter kind of thing.

1. I often wake in the morning craving beer... and will have one sometimes. (I think it might be the lack of bread products that I miss).

2. I'm seriously considering becoming a vegan, or pretty close to one.

3. My placenta from Canyon is sitting on my counter in a jar... (dried and powdered)

4. I hate folding laundry... I don't mind washing, but the folding/putting away kills me. I constantly have 2 CLEAN loads of laundry on my floor in my room.

5. I miss kayaking and wish I got to do it more.

6. A few days ago I had a hard time cooking some trout Carl caught b/c I felt bad for the fish.

7. I think my kids might be the funniest people alive...

8. There are times that I wonder if my younger sister needs to be committed. Seriously.

9. The "Cheese" stands alone. (Only a few of you will get that.)

10. My honest-to-god 10 year goal is to build a self sufficient home back in WV. (see what I did there? #10, 10 year?)

11. I'm a dork, and I know it.

12. I enjoy childbirth. And honestly it is not "painful" to me.

13. We have 3 dogs. Mike, Charc, and Cosmo.

14. I am done having children. 3 is the limit on sanity for me.

15. I'm lucky to be alive because of more than a few stupid situations. I could have easily been a statistic.

16. My dreads have nothing to do with religion, I just like them and like my own standard of beauty, one that no one else has to understand.

17. I haven't shaved in 2 years, although I have used the clippers on my legs...

18. I miss snow, we don't get any here in NC... yet I keep buying my kids skis, snowboards and sleds... (I think I might be going a little loco).

19. I like old-fashioned Gospel Music.

20. I might just have the world's coolest Mother-in-Law (actually all of the ILs). Not many people can say that.

21. My husband is 12 years older than me!!

22. I have kayaked less since meeting Carl than anytime since I started boating... and he is an avid kayaker. (I think it might have something to do with having been breastfeeding and pregnant for over 5 years now though...)

23. I am afraid of cold water. I almost drowned on the Slippery Rock in PA in Feb. of '01 while swimming with the ice chunks (a kayaking incident).

24. I make more of a mess when I start cleaning...

25. I kind of like being a home-body... but I miss hanging out with people late into the night.

Anyone Have an easy knitting pattern for...

A Dread Sock or cap? I don't know that I could do a Tam...

Arden's Hat

I finished Arden's hat! He loves it and so do I!

After 3.5 Years...

I finally decided to try to use my convection oven. Yup you heard me right, I have never used the convection oven feature on my oven... not with cookies, not with meat, not with anything. It has intimidated me horribly, and I am not sure why I decided today was the day to try it out.

I made a whole chicken, with potatoes, celery, and stuffing. It came out delicious! The skillet-stuffing was crispy on top and nice and soft on the inside... not burnt at all, and not overly crunchy.


And the chicken... oh the chicken was perfect. Moist all the way through, browned and flavored skin, and just pulled right off the bone.

I decided to go with the minimum on seasonings this time, and it worked out! I washed the chicken and patted it dry, and rubbed vegan butter, pepper, salt and garlic on the chicken before putting it in the oven. I sat the chicken on top of the potatoes so that the air would circulate under and all the way around the chicken. It worked out perfectly.

Here is what it looked like before we dug in:

So, maybe Walmart does have good Customer Service?

I'm not really a fan of Walmart, but you have to do what you have to do...

We went to Walmart on Thursday to get groceries and while we were in the very back looking for eggs, Arden told me that he had to go potty. So I grabbed my eggs, and rushed to the front of the store. Mind you this is a LARGE super Walmart and it took a few minutes to get back up to the front.

When we got to the restroom, the door was blocked by a cleaning supply cart, and we couldn't get it. So I turned to the front end manager who was standing there, and asked if we could please go in, that I had a potty training toddler with me.

He pointed back to the rest room and said "You will have to ask him". "Him" was the janitor standing at the cart getting out some paper towels.

I asked him if I could please let my 2 YO go to the restroom and was told "No, it will be 10 more minutes, I have to refill the paper-towels and toilette paper."

I asked again and the manager standing there shrugged at me, to which I replied that Arden didn't have on a diaper and there was no way that he could wait that long. He pointed to the back of the store and told me there was a small restroom back there. He was extremely rude, it was odd, it wasn't what he said, but his obvious disdain for me and my children. It was as if I was a bother to him and not worth his time.

Well needless to say, we almost made it to the potty, only a little "came out" before we got on the potty, but it really upset me and Arden. Even Rory asked me why the man was so mean to us.

I didn't get a manager while I was standing there. I was too upset. We grabbed the final few things that I needed and left. I was almost in tears about the incident b/c it upset Arden so much and I was in disbelief that someone with a FULL cart of food, a customer, would be treated that way by an employee who is supposed to be in charge of customer service.

I understand that there are some reasons that we couldn't go into the rest room for, but the employee was almost done and there was no danger...

I called WalMart Corporate headquarters that afternoon after I had calmed down, and they contacted our local Walmart.

I got a call this evening and an apology. They are supposed to have allowed us to use the restroom. They also are going to address the issue and do training on it. The manager who called was extremely nice and kept asking what else they could do to fix the situation, I think that had I asked I would have gotten gift cards! But I told her that really all I wanted was for someone to be aware of how I was treated and to make sure it didn't happen to others. I have to say that I don't feel like I was being patronized or passed off. I think they were sincerely sorry and will be addressing the issue. She knew exactly who it was when I described the employees.

So maybe WalMart does care? Or at lease some people who work there take pride in their reputations and jobs...